isolation

I'm really not one of the most popular kids in my school, I hate them, and everything about them. I don't know how popularity really starts but from observing them, I can say that most of them are ignorant, slut, faggots. Too good for you, and disgusted by you. To me, people around me are getting stupider and stupider, and I hate the world for that. I guess I wasn't cool enough to be with them. I don't have a group of friends, I cant group myself, and I don't know what I am. I am lost. I have really never been to any parties, and that's mostly because I am a plain, awkward kid. I freeze up at public places, and I get deep anxiety when I am around people. Why does this happen.